GourmetSandvich's OCA Application

Discussion in 'Accepted' started by GourmetSandvich, Aug 19, 2013.

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  1. Member Name:
    GourmetSandvich
    Steam Name:
    GourmetSandvich
    Steam ID:
    STEAM_0:0:35581334
    What position are you applying for?:
    City Administrator Minister
    Roleplay Experience:
    I have played on many varied HL2RP, Walking Dead RP, etc. servers during the time I have played Garry's Mod and understand key RPing terms such as /me, powergaming, etc.
    Roleplay Example:
    Scenario: Charles Stamford is in a meeting with a citizen, who is asking for Charles to use his influence to help get a family member out of prison. They are speaking in Charles' office and 2 CPs are present (MPF-UNION.04.12345 and MPF-UNION.04.67891).

    Citizen: /me wipes his brow with his hand.
    Citizen says "Sir, I have something I must ask of you."
    Charles Stamford: /me leans forward in his chair.
    Charles Stamford says "What is it you must ask, Citizen?"
    Citizen says "Well you see, recently my brother, John Doe, was arrested and put in prison for failing to follow orders, and I was wondering whether you, with all your power, could maybe pull some strings and get him out?"
    Charles Stamford: /me gives the citizen a surprised look.
    Charles Stamford says "You came here...to ask me to release a criminal?"
    Citizen says "The officer dropped a can onto the ground and ordered my brother to pick it up. He didn't want to, and he got arrested, hardly a criminal act sir."
    Charles Stamford says "Unfortunately for you, citizen, your brother's case is out of my hands. If you'd like, I could possibly arrange a meeting with the CA."
    Citizen says "No, please! There's got to be something you can do!"
    Charles Stamford says "My job is not to go running around on the whim of every citizen that comes through this door trying to get their poor, innocent brother out of jail. Goodbye."
    Citizen: /me gives the man an angry look.
    Citizen says "It's all the same with you guys isn't it! Serving nobody but yourselves and your bosses. It makes me sick that you still call yourself a human being!"
    Charles Stamford says "I'll pretend I never heard that. Get out of my office now."
    Citizen: /me picks up a cup on the man's desk.
    Charles Stamford says "Put that down now! Last chance!"
    Citizen yells "Oh, I'm not going to take any more orders from you!"
    Citizen: /me would try to throw the cup at the man.
    Citizen: /roll
    Citizen rolled 25 out of 100
    Charles Stamford: /me would try to dodge the throw.
    Charles Stamford: /roll
    Charles Stamford rolled 30 out of 100
    /it The cup misses the man and hits the wall behind him before dropping to the floor.
    MPF-UNION.04.12345 says "You were warned, citizen."
    MPF-UNION.04.12345: /me flicks on his stunstick.
    Citizen: /me would try to run past the first officer.
    Citizen: /roll
    Citizen rolled 45 out of 100
    MPF-UNION.04.12345: /me would try to grab the citizen.
    MPF-UNION.04.12345: /roll
    MPF-UNION.04.12345 rolled 13 out of 100
    Citizen: /me runs past the officer.
    MPF-UNION.04.67891 yells "Stop right there, citizen!"
    Citizen: /me would try to run past the second officer.
    Citizen: /roll
    Citizen rolled 12 out of 100
    MPF-UNION.04.67891: /me would try to grab the citizen.
    MPF-UNION.04.67891: /roll
    MPF-UNION.04.67891 rolled 51 out of 100
    /it The officer grabs the citizen by the collar as he attempts to run by.
    Citizen: /me struggles, before conceding defeat.
    Charles Stamford says "Detain him. He'll be joining his brother very soon."
    MPF-UNION.04.67891 says "Yes, sir."
    Backstory:
    Charles Stamford, originally a British citizen and only child of James and Sophie Stamford, was born in the early 50s. His father, a British industrialist, was the owner of a large company which was responsible for mining operations in areas of Britain. His mother, Sophie, was from Pittsburgh, and her family owned factories and businesses in America, making her quite wealthy too.
    Charles had a privileged upbringing both as a child and a young man in Oxford, where he went to school and later university, leaving with degrees in Administrative Services and a number of other sciences such as Psychology. When Charles was 37 his family moved to America to oversee his father's new business ventures there. It was during this time that Charles met his future wife, Anne Williams, who he later married and had a son with. They decided to name their new son Thomas.
    Years passed happily by, and in 1995 Charles' father retired from his position as head of his company, passing it on to Charles. However Charles and his family could never have expected the tragedy which would befall humanity a few years later. That tragedy was the Resonance Cascade, a terrible scientific error at the hands of the Black Mesa Science Team. The ravages of the 7 Hour War which followed and the subsequent Combine takeover ruined his business and his family, his mother having died during a portal storm which occurred while he and his family were trying to flee away from the fighting. They were left on the streets, a far cry from the wealth Charles had known before. This new lifestyle was alien to him, and he grew to loathe it and many of the others who shared it, mostly due to the vile actions and statements made by some other citizens against Charles and his family, who they deemed to be 'fat cats' and generally treated bady.
    Charles was determined to claw his way back up the social and industrial ladders, gaining favour with the new Combine rulers by reporting crimes, working hard and being the best citizen he possibly could. This, his distinguished background and education eventually (although many years had passed since the beginning of the Combine leadership) landed him a job in the Office of the City Administrator in City 18, where he continued to work hard to support his family, especially his son Thomas.
    Character Name:
    Dr. Charles Stamford
    Physical Description::
    5'5", average build, clean-shaven, dressed in a dark grey suit, light brown eyes, average-length light-brown hair, distinctive British accent, Armband marked 'CAM - MoT'
    Skills/Talents:
    Observant, intelligent in the subjects he studied (such as Law and Psychology), determined
    Fears/Disabilities:
    Fears losing his job or doing badly, has a back problem (meaning does not perform well physically e.g. jumping, running), has a strong aversion to places and people he deems unclean/uncivilised (e.g. slums, biotics, many ordinary citizens, apartment rooms)
    Will you remain loyal to the UU?:
    Yes

    PS as to wanted or preferred ministry, I would be interested in the Ministry of Truth or the Ministry of Health and Human Services, although I think that the Ministry of Truth might fit my character much better.
     
  2. Very good app,
    good backstory.
    The only thing is you need to use /it's
    I give a +support
    Just change the roleplay example a bit and you are good to go ;)
     
  3. Thanks, pootis. I'm actually a bit iffy on how /its are used. There are a few in there but I don't know whether I used them the right way. I checked some of the other accepted apps and they used them in a similar way to how I did it here, but I'm not too sure really.
     
  4. Oh i'll help you out.
    If you give a paper to a guy ICLY (SO you dont really see him)
    You can do /it On the paper writed:''By this gives general pootis a +support...blah..blah..blah''
    Or when
    /it The cup misses the man and hits the wall behind him before dropping to the floor.

    /it says something about the cup now.
    Understand ;) ?
    You dont really need to use many /its, but it always helps you app
     
  5. Shane

    Shane Jr. Member

    Good app. Still some lacks of information here. Be aware that there's no way a CAM could access criminal record files. CAM Have duties, and they have nothing to do with the MPF. A citizen wouldn't ask this to a CAM, he would ask this to the CA and it's still not in his bounds. It's the MPF role. A CAM Is handling duties like buying stuff for the CWU, supervising hospital employees, enhancing city materials and all the paperwork stuff.​
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------​
    Quent.​
     
  6. Shmeh. It's alright. The backstory and RP example is alright. It could use a bit of improvement, but still.
    +SUPPORT
     
  7. Thanks for the responses and support. I just wasn't too sure about how I would go about making a good RP example (especially one for a CAM, was trying to think of a way to put in some rolls but wasn't sure how I would put combat into my scenario). What sort of other information or improvement do you think I should try to make?

    Edit: Changed my RP example in accordance with Shane's feedback to get rid of the whole 'criminal report' thing and make the whole thing a tad more appropriate.
     
  8. Shane

    Shane Jr. Member

    I finally see here the sadistic aspect of a CAM in your RP example. If you get accepted, your minister might be in good shape with Salvatore.​
    Good:
    -Extended and good RP example.​
    -An exemplar use of grammar.​
    -Short but clear backstory.​
    Improve on:
    -Add more references to the Half Life universe, such as the Resonance Cascade.

    + SUPPORT
    (As for the wanted ministery, if there is one, you'll need to check the OCA roster or ask a staff member to see which ministery is available or not. As of now, the Labour Initiatives, HUD, Defence are taken for sure.)
     
  9. Thanks very much for the additional feedback Shane. I shall look around to see which ministries are available and choose one which suits my character, thanks.

    Edit: Ministry of Truth and Health and Human Services look good.
     
  10. Nobody

    Nobody Guest

    Good backstory and RP example. Lots of RP experience from different types of RP servers. +support
     
  11. Thanks for the feedback Nobody, it is much appreciated.

    Edit: Added in some more HL2 related info to my character's backstory, including mentions of Black Mesa causing the Resonance Cascade and portal storms.
     
  12. L30N

    L30N Donator

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